America…F*ck Yeah!

In the latest scourge of uber-paranoid – we’re five minutes away from the evil fascist BushMcHaliburton Hitler police state – mindset, we have this doozy of a story from Yahoo. It almost seems that it was lifted verbatim from The Onion with its feigned alarmist nature and shades of Sauron returning to his rule. What am I talking about you ask? Well, it seems that the current capitol of the Fourth Reich, aka the White House has a, *gasp* STAT TRACKER on its website, www.whitehouse.gov. Give me a second…I have to clear my throat to properly give you my reaction.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! WE DIDN’T LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE WERE WARNED, BUT WE DIDN’T LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU HEAR THAT NOISE?!?! THAT IS THE SOUND OF THOUSANDS OF JACK BOOTS MARCHING IN THEIR FASCIST FORMATION!!!!!!!!!

Ahhh. I feel better now. Seriously, WTF? Does the author of this article even own a computer? Just because this article appears online doesn’t mean that they know what the internet is. Forgive me if I assume the voice of an indignant Allen Iverson, but “a stat tracker? a STAT tracker?? c’mon man, we are talking about a stat tracker??”

I don’t know why we even bother continuing this fight for indeed, the terrorists have already won.