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Stop Global Warming Now, Before It’s Too Late! January 14, 2006, 1:42 am

Posted by quintapalus in Environment, Satire.
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Step 1: Eliminate the internal combustion engine!!!

Step 2: Kill all plant life!!!!

Whoa, time out Green Bay; do what again?!?!

Oh, you didn’t hear? Now it’s those living, breathing bastard plants that are causing the coming apocalypse:

LONDON (Reuters) – German scientists have discovered a new source of methane, a greenhouse gas that is second only to carbon dioxide in its impact on climate change. The culprits are plants. They produce about 10 to 30 percent of the annual methane found in the atmosphere, according to researchers at the Max-Planck Institute for Nuclear Physics in Heidelberg, Germany. The scientists measured the amount of methane released by plants in controlled experiments. They found it increases with rising temperatures and exposure to sunlight. “Significant methane emissions from both intact plants and detached leaves were observed … in the laboratory and in the field,” Dr Frank Keppler and his team said in a report in the journal Nature. Methane, which is produced by city rubbish dumps, coal mining, flatulent animals, rice cultivation and peat bogs, is one of the most potent greenhouse gases in terms of its ability to trap heat. Concentrations of the gas in the atmosphere have almost tripled in the last 150 years. About 600 million tonnes worldwide are produced annually. The scientists said their finding is important for understanding the link between global warming and a rise in greenhouse gases.

Understand indeed. Before we start doing radical things that could drastically screw up our economy, can we at least have some idea of what we are grappling with? Cause right now, it seems like we don’t have a freakin’ clue.

My favorite part:

But the study also poses questions, such as how such a potentially large source of methane could have been overlooked and how plants produced it.

Translation: umm…well…you see…”Let me explain to you how this works. See, the corporations finance Team America. And then Team America goes out, and the corporations sit there in their…in their corporation buildings, and, see, they’re all corporation-y, and they make money.”

What can I say but “WE DIDN’T LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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Comments»

1. Wadard - January 14, 2006, 4:12 pm

Before we start doing radical things that could drastically screw up our economy, can we at least have some idea of what we are grappling with? Cause right now, it seems like we don’t have a freakin’ clue.

—-

Are you talking about Iraq here? I agree – I can’t belive how economically naive some people are.

2. quintapalus - January 14, 2006, 4:36 pm

Ummm, yeah, nice try. Points for the effort and all.  I’m talking about climate change policy, you brought up Iraq.  But OK, I’ll play your game you rogue!
Basically, if you view the war in Iraq and the greater war on terror as I do (instead of playing terrorist whack a mole, we need to do a root causes liberal dealio and change the whole region so they no longer pump these guys out by the bushel – that’s the short version, btw), I’ll take that completely speculative figure of $2.6 trillion. Since that is about half the cost of what we spent fighting WWII, without even figuring in all those soft costs this study does like continuing health care,etc, it seems to be a bargain. People can choose to believe that we aren’t really at war, but they do so at all of our peril.

3. Wadard - January 15, 2006, 2:11 am

Actually, I was talking about:

radical things that could drastically screw up our economy

So your idea of iraq:

change the whole region so they no longer pump these guys out by the bushel

ain’t really working, is it? In fact the opposite is happening. So say the CIA. How unpredictable is that?

People can choose to believe that we aren’t really at war, but they do so at all of our peril.

Oh please … you don’t even know who the enemy is, Osama Bin Laden or Saddam – how can you call that a war? It’s a farce masquerading for a war that has been ovestated so that the encumbent govt can encumber further.

4. quintapalus - January 15, 2006, 2:28 am

Is this the same CIA that hasn’t gotten anything right in well, forever? You say terrorist producing, I say flypaper. I know perfectly well who the enemy is – it’s tyranny in just one of its forms. Right now that form is Islamic fundamentalism. It’s basically a Burke thing for me: “All that is essential for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” We’ve tried the real politik and the status quo for years and it has done nothing but sweep the problems under the rug for them to fester. We still pay for those sins, but at least now we are attoning for them. I don’t peg easy, but you can try.

5. Wadard - January 17, 2006, 3:46 pm

I know perfectly well who the enemy is – it’s tyranny in just one of its forms ….. Islamic fundamentalism

Yawn – there you go again – declearing war on nouns. Good luck to you you lexical warrior.


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