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Funny Conversation of the Night… January 26, 2006, 7:56 pm

Posted by quintapalus in Random, Crazy Shit.
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situation: roommate has a phone number of a friend of a friend to go out on a blind date.

roommate: so I’m going to give this chick a call.

me: whoa, wait a second, what are you going to say?

roommate: I’m not sure.

me: WHAT?!?! You can’t do that. You have to have talking points or something, a plan of what to talk about.

roommate: I have a plan…but…but the plan sucks!

me: (laughing uncontrollably)

blog readers: *crickets chirping*

me: I guess it’s one of those “have to be there” type moments. But thanks for making me feel awkward.  Dicks.

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Can a Leopard Change Its Spots? January 12, 2006, 11:28 am

Posted by quintapalus in Random, Crazy Shit.
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Apparently not, if you are a former mayor (and current city councilman!!) of Washington DC. Yes folks, America’s most beloved mayor, Marion Barry, has once again shown that he just can’t keep his hand out of the cookie, errr, coke jar that is. The sad part is that he wasn’t even arrested for the drugs; he was in court for tax evasion and forced to undergo a drug test as part of his guilty plea to reduced charges. Oops.

WASHINGTON (AP) – District of Columbia Councilman and former Mayor Marion Barry is not talking about reports that he failed a court-ordered drug test in November, but his attorney took issue Wednesday with parts of what was reported.

The Washington Post reported in Wednesday’s editions that Barry, 69, tested positive for cocaine following an Oct. 28 guilty plea to misdemeanor tax charges. The paper also reported that Barry’s attorney encouraged him to undergo drug treatment before his Feb. 8 sentencing.

Beautiful. Is there any hope for Washington DC when a guy like this can still be readily elected to important positions of government? Wait, don’t answer that; it’s too depressing.

Quote of the Week… December 31, 2005, 12:52 pm

Posted by quintapalus in Random, Crazy Shit.
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Which would have been quote of the day, but it was from last week. Anywho, it’s a winner:

“Honestly, this is probably going to strike a nerve with a lot of people. But my most memorable Christmas memory was having all of my uncles and aunties out of prison for one Christmas, and that includes me. We had a lot of run-ins with the law, and to have us all out at one time was great.”
Wizards forward Caron Butler, speaking to the Washington Times

Thanks to TDHMFAB for the enlightenment.

“Too Blind to See the Irony” Headline of the Day December 8, 2005, 4:51 pm

Posted by quintapalus in Foreign Affairs, Random, Crazy Shit.
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“Montreal – tens of thousands of people ignored frigid temperatures Saturday to lead a worldwide day of protest against global warming.”

-from the Canadian Press.

While we’re on the subject, this article really sums up all you need to know on the global warming situation coming out of the recent UN Climate Change Conference that kicked off over the weekend.

“Ten years ago we thought we had a lot of time, five years ago we thought we had a lot of time, but now science is telling us that we don’t have a lot of time. Global warming can mean colder, it can mean drier, it can mean wetter, that’s what we’re dealing with

There you have it folks, the ultimate bogey man. No matter what happens, you can blame it on global warming. Cold day? GLOBAL WARMING!!  Hot day?  GLOBAL WARMING!!  Dog run over by a trixie in her Jetta while talking on the cell and putting on makeup while drinking starbuck soy-latte?  GLOBAL WARMING!!

It’s pretty awesome to establish a scenario where no matter what happens, you were right all along!

WE DIDN’T LISTEN!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW, if you have seen the South Park episode “Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow” stop reading this blog immediately and find a way to watch it. You’ll be glad you did.

It’s amazing when two innocuous things come together that unintentionally make you look like a pedophile… November 22, 2005, 2:17 pm

Posted by quintapalus in Random, Crazy Shit.
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…kind of like how when your high school chemistry teacher went to great lengths to show how two substances that are toxic (sodium and chloride) can go together to form harmless table salt, a strange crazy combo happened to me the other day, and it wasn’t the kind that Wendy’s is doing these days where they allow you to substitute chili instead of getting fries.  (What’s up with that?)  So I have a picture of me on this other site right now, and it happens to be with my little sister.  I know that she is my sister.  My friends know that she is my sister.  But the unknown masses that visit my site daily sure as shit don’t know that. Right now you are probably thinking “yeah so, what’s your point??  It’s called patience bitches, learn some!  Now, I like a name change every now and then like everyone else, so I had changed my name from “Funky Fresh and Monkey Love” to “Levitron and the Love Box” –  (one karaoke band persona to another). Well, as my buddy Cray so kindly pointed out to me, the unfamiliar might take one look at the name, glance at the fact that I have a little girl sitting with me and think me worthy of a cherished position on a registered sex offender list. So yeah, I figured a name change again was in order. I tell ya, life can be pretty funny on occasion. One day you are having fun with silly names and the next day you find yourself ringing the doorbells of your neighbors to tell them about your “condition.?  Ahhhh, life, what a merry splendor of a thing. Good times.